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writing tips for marriage vows

Writing the perfect marriage vows is more complicated that it would seem for some folks. Even for excellent writers and thoughtful romantics it can be tough since there's a lot of intensity that goes into it but that's why this is a special event. Are you looking to renew your vows but don't know where to start? Many people stumble when it comes to writing heartfelt renewal vows that truly encapsulate their journey as a couple.


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Our guide is filled with practical tips and suggestions that will help you craft unique, meaningful promises for your spouse-to-be. Ready to rekindle the flame? Let's get started!

Reflecting on Your Journey

This crucial step involves taking a heartfelt walk down memory lane. Sift through the years and remember those special moments that have defined your union. Recognize how you've both grown personally and as a couple, cherishing the lessons learned from overcoming marriage hurdles together. You may even decide to travel to a special place for your vow renewal to make a greater impact as you relive some special moments together.

Remember to show gratitude for your shared journey so far, celebrating both joys and trials with sentiment and empathy.

Recall special moments

Bring to mind the times that made you both smile. These are your special moments. They could be trips, shared jokes, or a quiet night at home. Each bond you share has a story. You felt closer after each one.

These cherished memories shape your journey as a couple. Write about these in your vows. It will make them more meaningful for both of you and those who hear them.

Acknowledge personal growth

Every marriage has its share of ups and downs. These moments help us grow as people and as couples. This growth needs a place in your vows. It's part of your journey that you both lived together.

Think about how you've changed over the years. Maybe you're braver or kinder now because of the other person. Your partner might have helped you become more patient or understanding, too.

Write these changes down in your vows to show them what they mean to you.

Show gratitude

Say thank you in your vows. Look back on the good times and the hard days too. You both have grown together through all of it. This is a time to express appreciation for the love and patience shown by your partner.

It's part of your couple's journey. Talk about how thankful you are for their support in your personal growth. Mention specific moments of shared experiences that meant a lot to you.

Show them that their love made every step worth it.

Expressing Your Love

When renewing your vows, communicate your love sincerely and authentically, drawing upon specific instances that encapsulate the essence of your relationship. Add a dash of humor or personality quirks to display the bond you share in its entirety, making each word spoken feel utterly unique to you as a couple.

Be sincere and authentic

Speak from your heart to show love. Stay away from words that don't fit your true feelings. Share all the raw and real things you feel. It's okay if it seems cheesy or too sweet. Your partner will know the truth in your words.

Let them see this genuine side of you through your vows. Show thanks for them and the love story you've made together.

Use specific examples

Using clear examples is a great way to make your renewal vows true and heartfelt. You can start by thinking about your relationship. Look back at the times that made you both happy. Here are a few ideas:

  • It could be the moment you first met each other.
  • Think about a tough time you both faced, and overcame together.
  • Remember when your partner showed love in an unexpected way.
  • Use a funny story that still makes you both laugh.
  • Start with "I remember when..."
  • Say what happened in that moment.
  • Tell why this moment is important to you.

Incorporate humor and personality

Use a little humor in your vows. It is good to laugh! Make each other smile while sharing your promises. Be sure the fun side is a real part of you both, though. Not all couples are comedians at heart and that's okay too.

Just be yourself in these powerful moments together. You can mix funny lines with honest feelings for balance also. It will give your vows an original touch, completely unique to you two as a pair!

Making Promises for the Future

This section aids in crafting impactful promises for the future, illuminating your hopes and intentions while revealing your shared aspirations as a couple for the next exciting chapter of your marriage.

Dive in to learn more!

State your intentions and hopes

In your vows, speak about your desires for the future. Talk about what you hope to do and where you want to go as a couple. Share your plans with each other. Tell each other of goals that you both hope to reach.

You can also talk about how you plan to grow as partners. Show your trust in your partner by telling them about how much you rely on their support and honesty in making these hopes come true.

This part is key when crafting renewal vows because it sets the course for the journey ahead together.

Share your vision for your future together

Picturing your shared life can be a great part of renewal vows. Think about the things you want to do together as you grow older. Dream of the trips that are still on your bucket list.

Talk about the big moments, like seeing kids off to college or starting a new hobby together. Also, think and dream of those little quiet moments too: coffee chats in the morning, long walks, and watching sunsets.

These promises give power to your love and commitment towards each other for many more years to come.

Crafting the Vow Renewal Ceremony

Planning your vow renewal ceremony involves carefully considering details, choosing the right officiant, and deciding between a religious or secular ceremony - all while including meaningful elements that resonate with your love story.

Let's delve into these aspects together for a cherished and unforgettable experience.

Deciding on details

Picking out the parts of your vow renewal ceremony is a big step.

  1. Think about the place to have the ceremony. It could be at home, in a park, or even on a beach.
  2. Figure out who will run the show. This person is called an officiant. He or she helps you say your vows and makes it official.
  3. Pick words that show how much you love each other. These words are your vows.
  4. You should decide if you want to have god in your ceremony or not.
  5. Also, think about other things you may want to add in your ceremony.

Choosing an officiant

You need to pick the right person to lead your vow renewal. This person is known as an officiant. A big advantage is that you don't need a legal paper or marriage license. Anyone can be this leader, even a clergyman or judge! Talk with your partner about how you want the ceremony to feel.

This will help guide who you select. You want someone who matches the mood of your special day. Once chosen, work with the officiant to customize your ceremony just how you like it! It's all about making this moment perfect for both of you.

Considerations for a religious or secular ceremony

Crafting a vow renewal ceremony takes thought. It can be religious or not. Here are some key points:

  1. Know your values. A faith-based vow can call to heart your shared beliefs.
  2. Look at tradition. Religious vows often have deep - rooted customs.
  3. Take notes from the past. Your first vows may guide you.
  4. Ask for support from a leader in your faith community.
  5. A secular ceremony gives freedom to craft personalized vows.
  6. Be true to yourselves in a secular vow.
  7. Talk about personal growth and how it has shaped your love story.

Optional elements to include

Crafting the vow renewal ceremony includes many parts. You have the power to make this event special. Think about adding these optional elements to your day:

  1. Use old wedding vows: Recall your first wedding ceremony. Use some words from that day in your vow renewal.
  2. Celebrate years together: Talk about how long you've been married in your vows. This adds a nice touch.
  3. Add personal stories: Share funny or sweet moments from your journey as a couple.
  4. Use humor: Light humor can show each other's personality and lighten the mood.
  5. Sing or recite poetry: If you are good at singing or love poetry, use these skills in your ceremony.
  6. Include kids or pets: They are part of your family now and can play a role in the celebration.
  7. Say thank you: Show thanks for all the good times and support during hard times.
  8. Say sorry: Accept mistakes made and promise to do better moving forward.
  9. Make new promises: Renewal is not just about reaffirming old vows but making new ones too.


Writing your vows is a big task. Be true to yourself and tell your love story. Start early, use humor and love in your words. Add promises for the future and make it meaningful!

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Before leaving the world of therapeutic recreation to help her husband James start a marketing agency, she was a Certified Therapeutic Recreation Specialist who worked with a variety of patients to help them maintain and restore physical, mental, and emotional well-being through a variety of treatment techniques that involve focusing on recreation, social skills, and creativity to make her patients lives better.

Since then, she has also built a travel agency business leveraging those same principles to help her clients find the perfect vacation experiences. Now, she contributes her knowledge and experience here too, sharing her expertise in social interaction, travel, leisure, and relationships to help those in our CouplePlaces community.