This can be a difficult subject for couples to discuss and unlike other forms of physical intimacy, prostate milking or prostate massage has both medical benefits as well as for many men also being quite pleasurable. Most couples try prostate play for the first time because they are just curious about exploring new things but for others there can be fear and uncertainty to overcome. Just like the first astronauts stepping onto the moon, prostate play for couples can feel like venturing into the unknown. As someone who has had many men ask me questions about prostate health and many others who have chided me for being "brave enough" to talk about this subject, I felt like it was something that could be explored more from a candid male, heterosexual perspective and how it can be an important part of a couples sex life. Countless couples take this leap, discovering not just new heights of pleasure, but deeper trust and communication in their relationships by trying prostate stimulation. This isn't just about a physical act or chasing an orgasm. We're talking about a journey of discovery that requires vulnerability, openness, and a sense of adventure. Are you ready to blast off into this new territory together?
What Is The Prostate?
The world of prostate play requires a fundamental understanding of what the prostate is and its essential role in male sexual health and pleasure. At the most basic level, It's a small gland located between the base of the penis and the rectum. For reproduction, the prostate supplies part of the seminal fluid, which the seminal vesicles store and secrete. It's also crucial for the neurovascular bundle that helps control erectile function and the urethra that drains urine and semen.
The prostate has several anatomic zones. Most prostate cancers start in the peripheral zone near the rectum, while benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH), which can cause urination difficulties, is another health issue. Regular checks like the PSA blood test and digital rectal exams can help monitor prostate health.
While it can be done at home with toys or fingers even, medical prostatic massage, also known as prostate milking, is a technique that can offer several health benefits for men, especially those suffering from certain conditions related to prostate health. Here's a table summarizing some of these potential benefits:
| Health Benefit | Description |
|---|---|
| Improved Urinary Flow | Prostatic massage can help alleviate symptoms of benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) by reducing pressure on the urinary tract, leading to improved urine flow. |
| Relief from Prostatitis Symptoms | It can help relieve pain, inflammation, and discomfort associated with prostatitis by facilitating the drainage of obstructed fluid from the prostate ducts. |
| Enhanced Sexual Health | Some men report improved erectile function and sexual pleasure due to the stimulation of the prostate gland, which is often referred to as the "male G-spot." |
| Reduced Risk of Prostate Disorders | Regular prostatic massage may help reduce the risk of developing prostate disorders by improving blood circulation and promoting the drainage of fluids from the prostate. |
| Pain Relief | Prostatic massage can offer pain relief for chronic pelvic pain syndrome (CPPS) by releasing muscle tension and reducing inflammation in the prostate and surrounding pelvic area. |
| Improved Mental Well-being | The relief from symptoms of prostate-related issues can lead to improved mood, reduced stress, and a better overall sense of well-being. |
It's important to note that prostatic massage should be performed by a healthcare professional or under their guidance to avoid any potential risks or complications. Men interested in this therapy should consult with their healthcare provider to discuss its suitability for their specific health condition and to ensure it's performed safely.
Exploring Stigmas Associated Anal Play In Males
At this point, it should be obvious that in order to access the prostate, you'll need to go in through the anus. Historically, most men first experience this during an annual physical around the age of 50 when their doctor performs a rectal or prostate exam. However, even teen boys are aware of this from jokes they hear from their fathers and grandfathers. These jokes while a way of relieving pressure often combine with latent homophobia and fear that anything related to this area is forbidden territory and should you - god forbid! - experience pleasure from touching your anal area that you could be gay.
Thankfully, in recent times these stigmas are starting to fade and among men 25-44, nearly half have participated in anal sex (penetrating a female). When it comes to use of anal toys, while 39% of Gen X have reported experience using toys or fingers to stimulate someone else - 53% of millennials and 44% of Gen Z have said this is something they have tried. Despite this, in that same survey by the International Union of Sex Workers, nearly 80% of Americans said they were at least someone uncomfortable discussing anal sex.
This leads to an uncomfortable situation for many men and couples in general since it's clearly a subject that many people are interested in but few want to discuss. Things are changing though and communication, trust, and a willingness to try new things will ultimately open new doors ... even backdoors as it were!
While understanding the prostate's role in sexual health is a key part of exploring prostate play, improved communication is crucial to address the stigmas and misconceptions associated with male anal play. Despite the potential for enhanced pleasure and health benefits, societal stigmas and misconceptions can create barriers.
Discussing topics related to sexual health and practices can sometimes be met with fear, discomfort, or stigma due to a variety of factors including societal norms, personal beliefs, and misinformation. When it comes to anal and prostate play in males, several words or phrases might trigger fear or negative associations for some individuals. Here are a few terms commonly associated with these activities, along with the reasons they might lead to fear:
- Taboo: Social and cultural taboos around anal sexuality can lead to feelings of shame or embarrassment, discouraging open discussion or exploration.
- Homophobia: For some, there's a fear that engaging in or enjoying anal play may be perceived as a challenge to their sexual orientation due to societal stereotypes.
- Pain: Concerns about pain or discomfort can be a significant deterrent, especially due to misconceptions about the nature of these practices and the importance of proper technique and lubrication.
- Hygiene: Fears related to cleanliness and hygiene can also create apprehensions about engaging in anal play.
- Injury: The potential for injury or harm if not done correctly can be a source of fear. This includes worries about causing damage to the anal or rectal areas.
- Privacy and Judgment: Concerns about judgment from partners, healthcare providers, or society at large about engaging in these practices can lead to feelings of anxiety and secrecy.
- Misinformation: Lack of accurate information or exposure to myths and misconceptions about anal and prostate play can fuel unfounded fears.
- Vulnerability: Engaging in anal play can make some feel vulnerable or exposed, which can be uncomfortable or fear-inducing for individuals not accustomed to these sensations or the level of trust involved.
These fears can be addressed through education, open communication, and a supportive approach that normalizes these practices as a part of human sexuality. Creating a safe and nonjudgmental space for discussion can help dispel myths and reduce anxieties associated with anal and prostate play.
These barriers often stem from:
- The mistaken belief that enjoying prostate stimulation equates to being gay.
- The fear that it undermines one's masculinity.
- An overall lack of understanding and acceptance of diverse sexual preferences.
- The perpetuation of misinformation regarding prostate play in popular discourse.
Such misconceptions can prevent individuals from fully exploring their sexuality and enjoying the potential benefits of prostate stimulation. Replacing these words is crucial to debunking these myths and promoting a more accurate understanding and acceptance of diverse sexual preferences. By doing so, we can foster an environment where everyone feels comfortable exploring their own sexual health and pleasure. This is not just about breaking down stigmas, but also about encouraging open dialogue and understanding, paving the way for greater acceptance and sexual wellness.
Ingredients For A Successful Prostate Play Experience
To guarantee a positive and pleasurable prostate play experience, there are certain key ingredients to ponder. Firstly, it's important to have a solid understanding of the male anatomy, particularly the location and function of the prostate gland. You can't play the game well if you don't know the playing field, right?
Next, open communication is an absolute must. It's vital to discuss boundaries, comfort levels, and desires with your partner. Speaking up about your feelings, sensations and comfort is key to a successful experience. This is extremely important since just like with the female "G-Spot" not all men experience pleasure in the same way here either and reaching the right spot can be awkward and indeed painful if you don't communicate properly.
Third, patience and gentleness should be your guiding principles. Lots of lube and going slowly are the key here - especially if you are new to exploring the pleasures of prostate massage. This isn't a race, it's a journey of exploration and intimacy. Slow and steady not only wins the race but also ensures a safe and pleasurable journey.
Lastly, hygiene and safety can't be stressed enough. Cleanliness is paramount, and the usage of gloves and lubricants can enhance the experience while ensuring safety. If you are using toys, make sure to use a sex toy wash, and you might even consider taking an enema beforehand if you are worried about excess material that may be resting back there.
In fact, starting with a shower together is a great way to begin your journey since you can make sure everything is clean on the outside and maybe even test the waters with a gentle soapy finger to see what things feel like without going to deep.
Toys vs Fingers? What's Right For You And Your Partner
After understanding the ingredients for a successful prostate play experience, let's now explore the options you have for stimulation - toys or fingers - and discuss how to figure out what's right for you and your partner. You might start with your fingers to familiarize yourself with the sensation and location of the prostate. This is a great way to establish comfort and trust, as well as honing communication skills.
However, using a prostate massager can be a game-changer. These toys are designed specifically for prostate stimulation and can offer a more targeted and intense experience. When choosing a toy, consider:
- Size: Start with a smaller toy and progress to larger ones as comfort increases.
- Material: Silicone is a popular choice due to its flexibility and hypoallergenic properties.
- Features: Look for toys with vibrations or rotating heads for different sensations.
- Safety: Always opt for toys with a flared base to prevent unwanted accidents.
The folks at LELO sent us their new HUGO 2 prostate massager to test out and we're impressed. While this is probably not the right toy to start with, it has a lot of great benefits for couples who are past the initial phase of exploration and are ready to try something new and even more satisfying. For instance, while your finger or some other cheaper toys may be a good place to start - HUGO 2 has been updated with two motors to add extra vibration, and it's also 20% more powerful too.
Additionally, you can connect it to the LELO app on your phone so your partner can gain even greater control over the sensations and add an extra dimension to the experience that a simple plastic toy just can't.
We're fans of LELO because they always are super high quality in all areas that are important - from the high quality materials to the robust construction to the fact that their batteries tend to last longer that products from other folks too. HUGE 2 is unsurprisingly no different in that regard.
You can read more about the full features in our Hugo 2 Remote review, or vvisit LELO to purchase it right now.
Pleasure, Medical Benefit, Or Both?
As discussed above, for adventurous couples looking to explore new dimensions of pleasure and potentially reap some medical benefits, prostate play could just be the next exciting addition to a sexual repertoire that pushes the boundaries beyond the basics. It's a practice that can enhance sexual pleasure, often referred to as the male G-spot. But there's more to it than just the pleasure aspect. Some studies suggest it might alleviate symptoms of conditions like BPH and prostatitis; although the evidence is not yet fully conclusive, there is plenty of circumstantial and anecdotal evidence to suggest that prostate massage or "prostate milking" can have serious health benefits beyond just pleasure.
However, it's essential to approach prostate play with caution because it carries potential risks, including discomfort and possible infection. Whether for pleasure, supposed medical benefit, or both, prostate play is definitely a journey of exploration and trust.
Best For: Adventurous individuals and couples looking to explore new dimensions of sexual pleasure and potential health benefits.
Pros:
- Could potentially alleviate symptoms of medical conditions like BPH and prostatitis.
- Enhances sexual pleasure, often referred to as the male G-spot.
- Opens up new dimensions of exploration and trust in relationships.
Cons:
- Carries potential risks, including discomfort and possible infection.
At the end of the day, it's what you make of it. Men who have prostate issues that might be relieved by a something like this should be willing to give it a shot. If they like it or see benefits ... continue. If their symptoms aren't resolved but they have fun exploring something new with their partner then that's a win win. Obviously, for younger couples where the male has a healthy normally functioning prostate, pure pleasure and the thrill of trying something new is a great reason to try it too!
Communication Is Essential - Don't Go Farther Than You Are Both Comfortable With
When exploring the domain of prostate play, open communication and mutual comfort are paramount. It's a deeply intimate activity that requires trust, understanding, and a commitment to each other's comfort.
I've learned through my experiences that a respectful approach to this exploration is key. Here are a few pointers to keep in mind:
- Always seek explicit consent and thus enthusiasm from your partner. It's not just about agreement but genuine interest and excitement, too.
- Use inclusive language like 'we' instead of 'I', fostering a sense of shared adventure.
- Introduce toys gradually, allowing both partners to become comfortable with the idea and practice.
- Most importantly, respect your partner's boundaries. If they're not ready for something, don't push it.
When done right this can be a great way to learn something new about your body and a pretty unique pleasure area that most men will never fully experience.
Conclusion
So there you have it, folks! Prostate play isn't as scary as it first seems. It's all about trust, communication, and exploring new pleasure zones together. Don't let fear or societal stigmas hold you back. Remember, it's about your comfort levels and shared enjoyment. With the right approach, prostate play can deepen your intimacy and lead to extraordinary orgasms. So why not start on this adventurous journey and reveal a new world of pleasure together?
